A Wake Up Call

The other day Bayard Matty did something that made me think about myself, and really be honest it was a wake up call for me.

For me I hit the races strong and sometimes way too strong!  I walked 3 miles the other day and I am feeling the burn even today!  I think I will gradually get myself up on the 3 mile mark naturally!

Today I had another scare that the Doctor told me if my blood sugars don’t get better I will not see my next Birthday, my blood sugars are way to high!  The blood sugars are so high that what is going on right now is the sugars are not breaking down anymore or being released properly, so what is going on is my body is taking the 337 lbs of fat that I have stored up and using it for proper nutrients!   Yes this does happen if you don’t take care of yourself correctly!

So why am I doing this again? Well a lot of it is because of stress, I have a lot of stress that I am dealing with, housing, jobs, dealing with crazy people, I have lost interest in mediating the last couple of months, which is not me at all, I need get back on that again,  I know it’s excuses but the stress and depression that I have dealt with been rough.  I need this job to support the family and that is what really getting me right now.

I also have to say that I have a lot of pride, I really don’t want to see a therapist, it shows weakness to me that I have to see one, but I guess the best thing for me is on seeing one once again.  I might not be able to see one for about 90 days because of the new job if I do get it, at least I will be able to see one again!

I guess I don’t have nothing to say right now, I don’t feel that good because the blood sugars remain high, however I am starting take my meds again like I should, I put them in the kitchen where it will be visible and  I will see it and I will take it, hopefully in a week from now I will have much more encouraging news on reporting with the blood sugars!